You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
