she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
