He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
