were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
