There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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