Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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