Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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