at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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