It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
We had to coat check the pizza.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
