i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
