the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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