you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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