DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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