You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
