he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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