Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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