I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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