i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
