i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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