tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
