I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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