Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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