i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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