i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
i think i just lost a toe
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
