at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
