i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Me. At least after what I've been through.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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