can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
