He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Randomize
