I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
17 year olds will be the death of me.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
