There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
She announced her abortion via fbk
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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