batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
you win again, gameday.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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