and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
