I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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