If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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