sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
i need some magic done to my vagina
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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