the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
