How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I've blown a few things in my day
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
