i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
