I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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