Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Michael Bay diarrhea
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
