its not stalking. its research.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
