Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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