he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
