I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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