If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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