why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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