apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
