i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
