You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
The adults are the big ones right?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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