shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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