just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
